A Cake As Well As . . . Ocbc
Senin, 28 Desember 2020
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Yesterday, I went to OCBC Bank, the i at Marine Parade, in addition to asked for a birthday cake. According to the bank's advertisement, their customers larn a cake on their birthday, consummate amongst burning candles in addition to a birthday song.
Yes, it was my birthday yesterday.
If y'all haven't already seen the TV ad, hither it is:
(17 Jan 2010 – Commercial is instantly inwards Chinese because the English linguistic communication version has been deleted from Youtube. English linguistic communication subtitles added on 21 Jan 2010.)
There were 5 ladies wo-manning the counter at OCBC. The i who got the curt straw was xx Ming. Young, quite cute in addition to quite sweet. Unfortunately, she was wearing a cherry in addition to white polo shirt amongst 4 different coloured buttons, inwards thick polyester. Hmm, OCBC in all likelihood paid a lot of coin for some consultant to come upwardly up amongst the hideous design.
I gave xx Ming my IC – that's identity carte to those non familiar amongst the Big Brother field – which has my DOB on the front. She went almost quietly processing my cash deposit. Was she alerting her colleagues it was my birthday amongst a hole-and-corner 'birthday button' underneath the counter? The i beside the panic push for depository fiscal establishment robbers?
Please don't press the incorrect button!
I was certain someone was lighting the candles on my cake equally I waited, in addition to all the staff were getting create to shout, 'SURPRISE!' Something similar this:
xx Ming looked upwardly in addition to asked me if I wanted to update my address.
'No, give cheers you.' I had deliberately given OCBC a non-existent address because it's the alone agency to halt the depository fiscal establishment from sending me bits of newspaper every month. I can't opt out of difficult re-create statements but if they're returned to the depository fiscal establishment iii months inwards a row, they're suspended. A roundabout agency to outwit the organization in addition to the tree murderers who run it.
After making certain I didn't desire my address updated, xx Ming handed me my receipt in addition to IC.
I glanced to the left . . . No i jumped out amongst a cake topped amongst burning candles. I glanced to the right . . . No i started singing 'Happy Birthday to yooou . . . !'
xx Ming gave me a weak grin in addition to a is-there-anything-else look.
'Er, it's my birthday today. Do I larn a birthday cake?'
Since the subtle agency wasn't working, I had to live explicit almost my existent purpose for visiting the bank.
xx Ming blinked, hence blinked again. She turned to her colleague on her correct in addition to said, 'It's her birthday. She wants a birthday cake.' Then, she turned to her colleague on her left in addition to said, 'It's her birthday. She wants a birthday cake.'
The iii ladies smiled in addition to looked at i another, in all likelihood thinking I was joking. And in all likelihood hoping their smiles would brand me become away. Wrong!
'OCBC has an advertizement that says customers larn birthday cakes. You know the ad?'
'But it's simply an advertisement,' xx Ming said.
'Yes, it's an ad, which I receive got really seriously.'
'But it's simply an advertisement . . .'
When it was clear I was dead serious almost getting a cake, i of the teller ladies got upwardly to consult her supervisor. Of course, such an of import someone wasn't sitting at the counter. He was hidden from customers' persuasion past times a door amongst a high-tech digital lock.
Tick, tock, tick, tock . . .
'Have other customers asked for birthday cakes before?'
'No, you're the commencement one!'
Tick, tock, tick, tock . . . .
'A "Happy Birthday" would live nice, y'all know?'
All I got was a blank look, in addition to 'But it's simply an advertisement.' xx Ming was starting to audio similar a broken
Tick, tock, tick, tock . . .
'Er, I receive got a birthday dinner to become to. I promise I tin privy larn the cake quickly?'
'I can't guarantee that.'
'You can't guarantee I would larn a cake, or y'all can't guarantee I would larn a cake quickly?'
'Both.'
'Then why produce y'all advertise that y'all give customers birthday cakes?'
'But it's simply an advertisement.'
Tick, tock, tick, tock . . .
I was thinking no i was always going to say 'Happy Birthday' but the lady on the correct finally did. She got off her butt, walked over in addition to wished me 'Happy Birthday'. It took her, like, 10 minutes but hey, it was improve than nothing.
Did Miss Cutey xx Ming who was sitting correct inwards front end of me bring together inwards in addition to wishing me 'Happy Birthday'. Hell, no! Maybe she wasn't inwards a adept mood 'cause she was working on a Sunday?
Well, I wasn't feeling jubilant either, different Mrs Tan, the i inwards the TV ad, who got a birthday cake without asking:
After an eternity, the depository fiscal establishment teller lady who went off to consult her supervisor emerged from the internal bowels of the bank.
'We don't receive got whatsoever cake . . . . It's simply an promotion . . . .'
'If y'all don't give customers birthday cakes, why produce y'all advertise that y'all do?' She went dorsum to her supervisor.
Tick, tock, tick, tock . . . .
After some other eternity, she came back, this fourth dimension amongst a brilliant yellowish shopping bag. Would I similar the shopping purse instead?
'That's non a cake,' I said. NO CAKE! NO CANDLE! NO GOOD!
She disappeared behind the door again. After even hence some other eternity, the supervisor, xx Keong, joined me on my side of the counter. Would I similar to speak over the thing amongst him inwards a divide room?
'Why? Is at that spot a birthday cake amongst a candle inwards the room? No? Then nosotros tin privy speak over here. Your promotion says customers larn birthday cakes, hence I'm hither to collect my birthday cake.'
'Yes, but inwards the advertisement, the depository fiscal establishment surprises the customer, non the other agency round! You're non supposed to surprise us!'
Heheh, he had a indicate there. 'If there's whatsoever sincerity inwards the advertisement, y'all wouldn't live surprised,' I retorted.
'The indicate inwards the advertizement is that the depository fiscal establishment gives the client a surprise. If I give y'all a cake now, y'all wouldn't live surprised,' he returned.
I almost flare-up out laughing. 'If y'all give me a cake now, I PROMISE I'll live very surprised.'
For the side past times side few minutes, he tried to wriggle his agency out of giving me a cake. 'It's simply an promotion blah blah blah. . . .' I can't think everything he said but at that spot wasn't anything that convinced me I should larn out without a cake. After all, the advertizement didn't receive got weather condition similar 'while stocks last' or 'offer expires whenever'.
I idea I had to prevarication downward on the flooring in addition to boot my legs inwards the air. Boy, that would live fun, wouldn't it? But earlier I could produce that, he caved inwards in addition to said, 'Ok, I don't receive got a cake instantly but I tin privy become in addition to purchase y'all a cake.'
Of course, when he said 'I', he meant i of his woman someone underlings. It took some other eternity for a depository fiscal establishment teller to larn the cake from a bakery circular the corner.
In total, it took me 5 eternities to larn the pathetic three-inch cake from OCBC. It was topped amongst a heap of artificial cream, the sort that doesn't melt inwards Singapore's tropical rut in addition to I never eat. Frankly, my homemade cakes are agency better.
The plastic tree in addition to plastic Hello Kitty? Tacky tacky tacky! Not to cite the danger of a youngster choking on them, peculiarly when the 'leaves' tin privy live detached from the 'trunk'!
Getting OCBC to coughing upwardly the cake was similar prying something from a dead man's cold, difficult fingers. Or squeezing blood from a stone. But advertisements are hence oft deliberately misleading, I couldn't resist the temptation to present an advertiser that misleading ads tin privy sometimes backfire. A sense of savour of its ain medicine, perhaps?
I allowed myself to live misled into thinking that OCBC was giving customers birthday cakes. And y'all tin privy produce the same, too. I asked xx Keong if I could tell all my friends that they tin privy larn birthday cakes from OCBC. He said it mightiness non live a cake but it would live 'something' if it's their customer's birthday.
Well, if you're non happy amongst that 'something', simply insist that it was a cake inwards the TV ad. And y'all tin privy produce your utilization for consumer rights whatsoever twenty-four hours of the week, except populace holidays. OCBC branches are everywhere in addition to eighteen of them (click here for a list) are opened 11am-7pm, including Saturdays in addition to Sundays.
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